Explosions in the Sky

In less than 3 days, I will embark back to the place I fell madly I love with. Yes, some of you have guessed it; Utica, NY. Now it's not that I do not love Clarksville in the least. Its just that Utica just calls to me, and I am sure I am the most cornest person talking about Utica like a Warrior Poet, but it does!! I still get surprised with stuff in Clarksville though, Like hwy 48/13. Baffled by it. But it's not the same.

Alot of my friends in Utica are worried (As well as Clarksville) and I totally understand their concern, for both parties - his and mine. But its really hard to explain to someone who has never truely experienced it.
You are living, not being with them where you can go to your own corner but with them almost 24/7, with this person for a year and some change. You have spilled things to this person that you have told other people but it matters how this person takes this information. When you hear their voice, even after the roof came off, you heart still beats hard.
Why is it beating hard? Why do your palms still get sweaty when you get nervous around this person? Why do you get "high" when you sing "Congradulations" by Blue October and remember him dancing? Shouldn't you forget him dancing? Shouldn't you stop looking to see if the gas station sells OM because that person they dont sell that beer in the south? When you are with another person (sorry...) shouldn't they be the one who you think about when you close your eyes and not him? Why Him???
Because deep down, you know you are Soul Mates.

When I am here, in Clarksville, I just feel alive.
When I am there, in Schuyler/Utica, I feel like Im home. And frankly, being an Army Brat who moved every two years of half of her life (the really crucial times - fuck High School) home is a wierd feeling.
Its hard to explain.

But the Lord Willing, I am going to just go with the flow and have faith that this will work out, the second time around.


I want to be with him, no matter where we are. Utica, NYC, Schuyler, anywhere. I want to see explosions in the sky with him. Three more days